Those of you foolish enough to read our Barry Lane passages for Thursday (not because there is anything wrong with Lane -- he's great -- but where did you find the time?) have read about Lane's great exercise in which students use outtakes from basal reader texts to practice adding much-needed detail in revision. Combining this with the "writing between the lines" exercise, here's a chance to add your voice a basal reader story crafted by this week's reading group.If you've got nothing better to do, have a blast! We'll do something like this in class on Thursday (2/28) too.
Nancy makes lunch
Nancy is hungry. She was hungry last night, too, but her uncle stopped by with a sack of burgers from McDonald's and gave her one. After he left, she found where he threw the bag away and there were still some french fries in the bottom. Those were good, too.
There is Nancy’s mother. Nancy’s mother is sleeping. She mostly sleeps on the couch these days, and keeps the TV on. Nancy likes it when court TV is on. It seems like all the problems people have get solved so fast on those shows. She has thought about trying to call judge Judy, but the phone doesn't work any more. And she's hungry.
Nancy will make lunch. There are a few things in the freezer, but she doesn't know what they are. She took something out yesterday and opened the lid, but it just looked like frost, or something from a show about the north pole or something. It didn't smell like antyhing. But today she is looking in the back of the refrigerator and there are some things in jars.
Look! There is some food. The food is brown. She opens the jar. it doesn't smell bad. It smells like beans, and there isn't any fuzz on top.
Nancy puts the food on a plate. The plate is yellow. Her uncle took away all the white ones with the blue patterns. He took some other things, too, but he said he wouldn't take the TV.
Look! There is more food. The food is green. This food smells good! Maybe it's pudding!
Nancy puts the food on the plate. She eats some beans, and wishes they were hot. She eats some of the green food, too. She didn't heat it up, but it tastes hot anyway. It starts to hurt, and Nancy looks for something to drink.
Nancy is thirsty from the green food, and now her mouth feels like it's burning. "Ow ow ow ow ow ow!" she yells.
Look! There is water. There is a glass on the counter. She runs over to it and takes a big drink. "Ow ow ow ow ow!"
Is it water? It hurts like the green food, but it hurts in her tummy, too. She starts to cry.
There is Nancy’s mother. Now she is awake. "Nancy, what's the matter?" she asks. Her voice sounds scratchy, but she doesn't sound angry. She gets up slowly and goes to the kithen. She is wearing a pink terrycloth bathrobe and slippers with kitten faces on the front. Her hair is sticking out on one side and flat on the other. She catches her balance on the kitchen doorway.
Look, mother! Nancy made lunch!
By now, you have been able to compare the stories you assembled in your groups. It is an understatement, I hope, that they are vastly different, even though they are all revisions of the same basic frame. Although Lane mentions many practical reasons for witholding explicit ideas for revising student content (time being the most significant), the foundation of this principle is expressed in the difference between all the versions of the story. Sure, as teachers we might be able to make suggestions that will improve a draft. But can we know that these directions will be better than the myriad ones students will take on their own? JP
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